[†薇诗™ツ†] I ain't thinking about you </3

.18.2.10 ♥

Still the same, eh?

Totally bored.

Read the whole history of our convo.

You once said that

I always wait and don't seem to ever make any actions.

You once said that

A relationship is not only about the guy wooing the girl.

You also said before that

Even if there is effort, if I can't see it, that means there aren't any at all.

I agree to everything you say.

But I also said before that

If we ever get together, we must be able to give in to each others' needs.

BUT.

We haven't even get together.

And yet, you can't even give in to my needs.

It's true I always wait.

I always don't want to make any actions.

But do you know the reason why?

In the past, I've always initiated.

As times passed, the response from the other party always get worse.

They start to take advantage of it.

Which is the reason why I decided to stop initiating.

It's true a relationship is not about the guy wooing the girl.

But.

It's also not about the girl wooing the guy.

You've made effort to show care.

Yes you did.

On 15th February, did you make any effort though?

While I'm trapped in the lift, you can tell me.

I'm going to go sleep.

Yes you are tired.

But even so, does it hurt to type "are you okay?" this few words?

I don't think so.

Since I have always been asking you that.

I used to not be able to see the good side of a person.

I used to be blinded by the sadness and loneliness

Which made the bad side only visible to me.

But now.

I've changed.

I've looked at both the good and bad sides of you.

I do see effort.

But maybe it just wasn't enough to fill up the loneliness inside me.

I really hope you read this post and understand where I'm getting to.

I really don't like the fact that we always quarrel over trivial matters like this.

No.

It's not trivial to me.

It may be trivial to others.

But because I was once unloved by my parents.

That made me want to feel loved by the people around me.

Especially you.

Really hope that you can understand.

I'm not asking for a patch back.

I'm just asking for you to understand.

____________________________________________________________________

In March, on a certain day.

I will be going to Health Promotion Board.

To check my back bone.

I have a really bad feeling about it.

What if my back can't support me anymore?

What if it gets totally slanted?

Then, I will be left alone forever.

With the love and care from my friends and family.

I hope it's enough to fill up the emptiness in me though.

Wonder if there will still be anyone that wants me if I became handicapped?

Wishing for the impossible every single day....

Written&Edited♥, @ 5:31 AM