Today I read the Astrology in Facebook.
They said this about Taurus.
"You've got needs, too! Your friends and family often rely on you for taking care of them in various ways, but today is all about you -- so do whatever feels right and let them fend for themselves.
Compatibility: Sagittarius
Mood: Relieved
Lucky Color: Blue
Lucky Number: 96
Lucky Time of Day: 7am "
And said this about Sagittarius.
"Mental energy flows more freely today and you should be able to shake loose a few new good ideas out of the depths of your consciousness. It's a good time to chat and brainstorm with peers, too!
Compatibility: Capricorn
Mood: Creative
Lucky Color: Shadow Black
Lucky Number: 62
Lucky Time of Day: 2am "
Don't really have much to say about my horoscope.
But about Taurus's horoscope.
They say he have needs too.
Obviously he have needs too.
I know that.
But it doesn't seem that he has any needs.
Other than the fact that of course those kind of things.
And yes.
I really do want him to care about me in various ways.
It's a fact.
I think this part of the Astrology is so true today.
But the part about the compatibility.
That's so not true.
We still aren't getting along.
I think.
Sigh.
I'm starting to think that we can't even stay as friends anymore.
This early morning, you send an MMS to me.
I was very anxious about it.
Pleaded with friends who had an iPhone.
Finally saw the picture during recess.
And I cried.
And cried.
And cried.
And cried.
And cried....
I finally cried.
I don't even know why I cry.
Maybe because the memories of 14/02/10 suddenly came rushing in?
I really wonder why can't you understand that the only single thing I need from you.
Is actually just care and concern.
I can restrain from meeting you.
I can resist the temptation to hug or kiss you.
If only you can just care for me.
Hearing from what my friend said.
Yes, the care I expect from you is so much more.
But do you even understand why?
Do you even bother to ask why?
And the kind of care I'm asking for isn't overboard.
It's normal care.
Normal care which you can't give.
Normal care that only girls and certain guys understands.
Okay.
Let me tell you why I need so much care from you.
In primary school, my parents went overseas almost everyday.
Me and my sister were left under the so-called care of our maid.
She only knew how to hit us or scold us when we were naughty.
And my parents didn't really seem to care.
My friends in primary school ain't all nice either.
The girls in my class hated me, because of the influence of some other girl.
I didn't feel the love and care I needed when I was young.
Secondary school, I felt love.
Felt care.
Felt those feelings from my friends and my previous boyfriends.
Mostly from my friends of course.
None of my ex-boyfriends have ever given me the care I needed.
That's why now I want so much care and concern from you.
I didn't think it would end up with you being angry though.
I thought you would understand through the first quarrel.
Since it was about the same thing also.
Sigh.
I have been explaining the same things over and over again for so many days.
I don't think you've read any of them.
It's okay.
I'm just blogging this for the sake that maybe.
Just Maybe.
Maybe one day, you might suddenly care and come read this yourself.
I really feel like telling you to come read everything I've said.
Ever since the day we stopped talking to each other.
Sigh.
I really like contradicting myself.
I guess I should stop decieving myself.
I know I can't forget you yet.
I know you don't feel the same way you do for me anymore.
I know there will be no ending for us.
I know...
That it's already the end for us.
But I just can't bring myself to face reality.
I just want to continue to stay in my dreamland.
My dream, my past, my memories.
Somehow, I feel like cutting myself again.
I won't do it.
I really don't want to hurt the people surrounding me and myself again.
Again, for the sake of another guy.
It's depressing to see myself like that.
I can't bring myself to forget you.
But there is a way.
And that is for you to push me away as violently as possible.
As rude as possible.
Make me hate you.
Then am I able to forget you completely.
Sigh.
Sorry about the sad post again, people.
You know I still love you. No. I know I still love you and you don't love me anymore. Tell me if I'm wrong.
Labels: still sad.
